A quest for resiliency

I’ve been on a quest for resiliency, striving to understand it and to nurture it in my own world devastated by the Hermits Peak-Calf Canyon Fire. I missed last week’s editorial because I was out searching for it — in Ireland. 

What I found among the people in that place confirmed so much of what I already suspected. In the end, it is the quality of the heart and soul of not only a person, but a people that determines if they cannot only survive but thrive as they recover from disaster, oppression, or plain old bad luck.

The Irish have known systemic persecution since the 12th Century when Pope Adrian IV authorized Henry II of England to conquer Ireland. The Pope called the Irish “rude and barbarous.” It would take a series of books to acknowledge the ups and downs of the Irish people, including the hurdles faced by immigrants who came to the U.S., especially as they escaped the Great Famine of the 19th Century. 

Each time, not only have they survived, but they do so with a smile and a song. 

Let me tell you what I found in Ireland. The culture I met there is kind, patient, and far less worried with how they “look” to the outside world compared to who they are as individuals and as a people. 

When I arrived at Shannon International Airport, exhausted from 17 hours of travel, I inquired about a cab to my hotel. The woman who dispatched taxis, not only requested one for me, but also took my luggage and walked me to where the cab would meet me, acting as though it were no favor but an opportunity for a little fresh air. 

We visited, told stories, enjoyed the cool, damp Irish air. I saw in her eyes something that I would find universal among the Irish people. She was totally present with me, listening, practicing something I’ve heard in traditional greetings in various cultures.

Her eyes and face said clearly, “I see you.”

It was just a week in Ireland, but it gave me hope for the people of Northern New Mexico as we recover from disaster. I saw some key ingredients for resilience, and I see those same ingredients here. For what it’s worth, I offer my list of traits found among resilient people.

Those traits are:

• During “normal” times, the ability to understand that life is “unfair” but to celebrate and enjoy the ways it is hyper-fair more so than to be ruled by self-pity when it is unfair.
• A sense of self-worth not dependent on approval nor endorsement by mainstream society.
• When disaster does strike, seeing the reality of the situation clearly and facing it head-on with courage and determination, making realistic step-by-step decisions based on a rational hierarchy of needs starting with basic survival and addressing new issues as basic needs are met.
• Being willing to accept help if it comes but ready to face difficulty alone with the resources at hand when needed.
• If oppression or injustice becomes a factor, an ability and willingness to speak out with a strong voice. Once the situation is resolved, maintaining the memory to avoid injustice in the future coupled with the willingness to forgive for what has been done.
• A tradition of working together to remove obstacles to survival and recovery. In some instances, this may include the need to stand together against injustice.
• Societies rooted in individual success and “one-upmanship” are not sustainable when facing adversity. To survive extreme adversity, we truly are “our brother’s keeper.” Resiliency depends on a community’s ability to care for one another.
• The ability to find humor, even in dark times, and the ability to revive joy in life when the dark times pass.

Resiliency is not just about immediate survival. In the end it’s about deciding who we are, what life we will rebuild together as a community. Many years ago, I bought a t-shirt at an intertribal pow-wow.

It said, “We will always remember who we are, as long as we keep dancing.”

That shirt burned with my house, but I remember it clearly, a message from yet another resilient people.

While I was in Ireland, luckily the pub at my hotel was a popular community hang-out. Purely by accident, I was there for the monthly informal meeting of local musicians, there to enjoy the joy of music, and the Irish certainly know how to enjoy music. The place was packed. They welcomed me with open arms, lending me a guitar so I could be part of the celebration. 

A few days later, after I came home, I attended the first Friday evening “Music on the Plaza” event of the season in Las Vegas, NM. It will continue each Friday through the summer until the cold of fall drives the community indoors. The plaza fills with a BYOC (bring your own chair) audience, and dancers fill the brick area between the flagpole and the gazebo where bands perform.

In Ireland I played a borrowed guitar. In New Mexico I danced.

We are resilient. We will survive and thrive because we will always remember who we are, as long as we keep dancing.